A whole bunch of me reading this was "oh fuck, I'm not the only one worn down by this?"


Note: part of the complication in my home on this subject is my spouse is not highly expressive (a remnant of some serious bullshit in his childhood that led him to be reticent by default... with me he his expressive enough to surprise his family members and he's still not all that emotive).  He often does notice and appreciate the things that feel overlooked, he just will almost never comment on it unless it's specifically brought up.