I'm a few chapters in, the voice is so pedantic and stodgy - and there's already been an (interrupted) sex scene, a gun fight, emergency medical attention, and flights for their lives. Also there is so much exposition. For a thriller I am less than thrilled.
There are a few points that have already and I'm on page 46 (start of chapter 4).
So the first description of the man we hear is that his ex wife says he looks like Derek Jeter. Then it goes on to say how his parents were an interracial couple, which is why he looks like Jeter. Personally I found this utterly irrelevant to the story as there seems to be no plot reason to discuss specific race and we have been just given a well known figure that if we don't know what he looks like we can find out in about 5 seconds with an internet connection (or a book on baseball).
Now, I don't know Jeter's actual racial mix up - and it doesn't really matter to me. From what I hear he's good at baseball, but its not a sport I really care about, so I had to look up his photo to double check. Maybe my judgement of "white" is off, as I tell people jokingly I'm 'Pasty from clan McPale" after they make some comment about my skin color (ok, so I do practically glow in the dark), but most people are darker than me just as a starting point. So I look at Jeter and he looks white to me. I guess my point is saying "my parents were different races" isn't good for indicating a specific skin color, because there are lots of shades of skin tone. Show us, don't give us unnecessary expository text.
Issue number two: an utterly unthrilling sex scene. Ok, so maybe they do get interrupted early on in the deed, but there is almost two pages of the most untitillating and boring description of undressing each other and getting down to it.
Secondary to issue number two, but that I'm making its own issue: it's great that he goes "oh shit, no condom" but then she replies that she's on the pill so everything's OK - we're talking a one night stand with someone YOU JUST MET HOURS AGO. The pill does not cut it. Seriously.
Issue number four - I get that this guy they go to lost his medical license and now is a late night surgeon for the different gangs. However he's paid in heroin and has apparently been an addict for years yet manages to only shoot up 2x a day.. considering what happens with tolerances and such I'm not quite buying that this man is quite as in control as he's described to be. Also, I get that he stole thousands of dollars of equipment and that's how he lost his medical license and that some how it wasn't repossessed, but that doesn't work for blood supply which has a limited shelf life.
Issue number five - in the gun fight Ariel got hit in the leg(s) with gunfire. Maybe straight through, maybe nicking, I don't know b/c of the poor description (which is funny considering how overly explained everything else is). Then somehow she survives not bleeding out in the drive from NYC to somewhere in PA, get to the gang doctor, and he sets her broken legs. When did she break her legs? I guess it's from the bullets, but it comes out of nowhere "oh yeah, both her legs are broken"
And I'm less than 50 pages in.